My New Year’s Resolution Is to Be Less MiserableEverything is awful but maybe I don’t have to feel so terrible all the time?Jan 1, 2021Jan 1, 2021
Published inThe AwlJared Kushner Greatly Resembles an Evil DollSpecifically, the one from a bad horror movie you didn’t see.Jun 26, 20171Jun 26, 20171
Published inThe Awl“It’s All Coming Back to Me Now” is a Very Weird SongThe third single from Céline Dion’s 1996 “Falling into You,” is a ballad for a corpse.May 16, 20174May 16, 20174
What I’ve Learned Playing RiskI’ve played the board game Risk at least once a year since I was 18. I have a very concrete memory of my first game — over at a friend’s…Apr 19, 2017Apr 19, 2017
Eat a Little Bit Healthier by Thinking About What Your Food Tastes LikeEver think about Doritos?Apr 13, 2017Apr 13, 2017
Call a Zombie a ZombieI am tired of my zombies being called “the infected” and etc.Apr 11, 20172Apr 11, 20172
Death and TrafficThe only way to make traffic better is to accept that we are all going to die.Apr 5, 2017Apr 5, 2017
One Day I Will Buy a Deli Meat Shaver and It Will Be Great (Maybe)Cold cuts for everyone!Apr 4, 20171Apr 4, 20171
